Skip to main content

ETIQUETTE FOR MISTRESSES , An XXX 3rd World Flick!





Nothing salacious. Nothing prurient as the other mouth of the chlamy-proud attests to a movie where she is supposedly ecstatic to be part of .  Of course, inserting risque scenes in a totally absurd titled flick would be merely redundant.  Without having to bat a limpy eyelash, it quite is screamy for comfort to see a film produced by one of largest syndicated network in the world.  Isn't it enough that they are quite successful to serve mediocrity into our gullible tribe?  Actually, the   THREE X'S are as follows:

X...1.  The concept.  Ever since I got wind of the fact that when a man is found to have an extramarital affair; the woman [or whatever] is labelled as 'mistress'.  It is a gracious tag that comes with a lot of linkages to anything but positive.  So why teach them ETIQUETTE? It is enough that they are what they are and act as to how they deem is perfect for any situation.  Teaching them etiquette or manners or what-have-you would entirely spoil the excitement; if they subscribe to it.  I understand also that it is loosely based on Julie Yap Daza's book that nobody has heard of until now.  The concept is totally X or wrong in real time.  It is of 'ukay-ukay' quality.  Nothing interesting and for any reason it is to elevate and patronage kept women to a pretentious status.  Come to count your pubics before you tire yourself to watch such pussy-shitty film and end up evangelizing a state where a woman shares a marital bed.  We've had so many outings like this, one is RELASYON where Vilma shared Christopher with his wife and heart attack.  What else is new? X!

X...2.  Basing on the trailer , the movie is a blabbery of what should or not to think while enjoying borrowed coitus.  A bombardment of generic facts regarding the perils and do and don'ts once you cretinously realize that you are a mistress.  For one, kabits [lemme use this word profusely], are numb from the very start of the relationship .  The alibi that 'I was not aware he was married' ; 'I fell in love with him and it was too late, he was married na pala' are so dumb.  Women have this intuition and I do not take these excuses lightly. Most have confessed that they knew oh so all along that she was merely going to be a hitchhiker.  Unless obliquely , goobledygooky stupid : perhaps.  But again, playing the game is not talking about it.  There's this character painted as obnoxious who acts as Miss Konsensya, always there to philosophize, trivialize, obstrasize, kilometric lines of god-knows-which-and-whose-baul it came from.  The sadder part is that this Miss Konsensya is frozen ham... even doing horror she manages to be all so high with salicylic acid among other preservatives.  Her being there makes it all more an X.  To this day we can still colorfully imagine her rotten australia... down there. 
X... 3.  Like kabaklaan, there is always a kabit in the neighborhood.  We even had a president who had almost 2 dozens of ... what else, KABIT!  We basically pity the nice ones, those who make extra effort to chat about the weather; and loathe the proud ones; with prayers na sana the real wife will make lusob.  There is really nothing to it.  But then, is this a ploy to glamourize and aerate the better vajayjays as they say.  If you try harder to go deeper into the wilderness of a menage-a-trois [ or with the ex-president, menage-a-monde] , you will totally find out that like people, their story vary; some have similarities but there is always a unique factor with every one.  Some are really the 'real' girlfriends until the guy played a bit and got pikot; or after so many years, a girl's crush reappears and kesehodang he is married she wants to taste his stick; or it just happened two people were lonely and an indiscretion felt good so there.  A waste of time and precious man-hours gone to crap is all that this movie is all about.  But then, if you feel you are a fan of mediocrity, go ahead... marinate more!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THIRD WORLD LIVING ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

Frankly , I haven't heard of her before the story conference of Howard Yambao's BEST. PARTEE. EVER, entry to last year's QC INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL starring JC De Vera.  JC played a straight-acting gay man caught in nasty broil of Ecstasy addiction and trade.  The film was shot almost in its entirety in the confines of provincial jail where I played a hot headed old fag jailbird. At the conference, as we were introduced, she caught my attention.  Well-made up and in a cocktail dress she amiably smiled at everyone , her name: CATALEYA SURIO.  As we were given a rundown of role assignments, I realized that she was playing a transwoman in for some crime and detained in the male cell.  This was because in the Philippines, a sexually re-assigned is still recognized with what is on one's birth certificate.  Ah, alright. "As far as I remember, I was ALWAYS a girl", Cataleya nonchalantly declares in our online interview.  Orphaned at a very young ...

Mercedes Cabral : The Soul Of A 3rd World Actor

... pensive.  THE Mercedes Cabral! As a child, it may have occurred to her that one near future she was going to wear skins of a myriad of women [and men?]. It may not have come as a wondrous dream but rather a steamy afterthought.

ON THE SET : Joel Lamangan's 'BES & THE BESHIES' , COMING VERY SOON!

Seven months after shooting Howard Yambao's BEST. PARTEE. EVER. in a slammer in Pampanga; I get to once again be part of a film starring THE COMEDY QUEEN herself, Ms. AIAI DELAS ALAS , with The Joel Lamangan no less at the helm.  A cameo is always welcome; it is a short appearance, with minimal exposure requirements and I get to just be myself or as to how I deem the role should be carried out with.  I play a parlorista who rages on another parlorista [played by Byuti Veloso] ; who I share a chin prominence making us look like twins!  Ms. Aiai's character, a Barangay Kagawad and sort of a 'jane of all trades' pacifies us.  We shot in Proj6, Quezon City and it was a breezy day which made it quite comfortable.  That was on April 2.  I never expected that suddenly I would be called back to do more appearances ; delighted and totally flattered who was I not to oblige? I did three more scenes; two of which were highlights of the hilariously riotous ...