FangLaHeyHey Not A Chinese Resto Dishes

FANG LA HEY HEY Not A Chinese Resto is a fantasy eatery that only exists in a street in my mind on a city made up of dreams that looks like my fatally-upgrade-ready kitchen. 'FangLa' is derived from a tagalog term for 'devour' which is 'lapang' basically descriptive of a frenzied feeding orgy of hungry mammals among other eternally hungry animals. Flamboyantly adopted like a foundling left at the steps of a church in a southern city by the gay race; it is essentially decoded by vowel reversion to connote several other activities of the mouth. Substituting 'f' for 'p' is merely out of habit. Therefore FANGLA, and now sounds Chinese ; although there just might be a cantonese/mandarin/fookien word that sounds like it which may to them mean 'grab those lonely Southern Sea islands'. With that painstakingly elaborated upon for momentary entertainment of word porn, savour on two box-office hit offerings at FANGLA HEYHEY Not A Chinese Resto [FHNACR]: 3 LEGUME PORK STEW or 'nilat-an' in the visayas and BINAGOONGAN OVERLOAD. Both dishes pay tribute to the seasonal Patani , appearing at markets towards the end of the year.

3 LEGUME PORK STEW

Pork buto-buto with lots of meat attached to it

String Beans

 Patani

 Kadyos

 Gabi 

Onions, the white one is preferred

Leeks 

Worscheshire Sauce 

Salt

Pepper to taste... 

Of course, if you are into cooking you totally know the drift. Quantity is your prerogative as in how much water and the rest. On a saucepan , pour in the water and set it on the stove. While at it, throw in the pork bones, gabi, onions, patani and kadyos, and leeks. Let it gloriously boil until you get almost bored. Start seasoning with salt, in a manner that each sprinkling is proceeded by a quick taste check. Add in some drops of worscheshire sauce and more salt if needed and pepper. Throw in the string beans then shut stove. Cover. If your string-ies are fresh, they will provide a crunch as you eat it with the mushy patani, kadyos, gabi and the meaty parts of the bone. DO NOT EAT BONE. Now that is a joke. Serve while hot. Perfect for a cozy lunch or dinner to moisten up ungodly conversations with family, friends or your old pathetic self.

BINAGOONGAN OVERLOAD 

Pork lomo, cut into civilized strips and length

 Alamang or shrimp paste, rinsed but with bearable saltiness left 

Siling haba, lots of 'em and in green and red 

pepper

cooking oil

 sauteeing mix ; garlic/red onions/juicy tomatoes sans seeds 

patani/kadyos 

kangkong tubers and some leaves  

vinegar; preboiled in a separate pan

 Again, you know the drift. Sautee the mix, onions first, then garlic and then the tomatoes; mashed and mushy beyond recognition. slowly add the alamang in three batches; toasting a bit of each before adding the rest. Again, you know the drift. Sautee the mix, onions first, then garlic and then the tomatoes; mashed and mushy beyond recognition. slowly add the alamang in three batches; toasting a bit of each before adding the rest. While doing that, preboil your vinegar as well as the patani and kadyos; when cooked add them to the sauteed alamang as well as the chopped kangkong tubers. Add vinegar slowly, tasting its effect ; the mixture should just have a slight sourness to it. When cooked and when upon tasting it for the last time , a faint moan emanates from your throat voluntarily; set it on a flat-bottomed bowl packing it lightly with every spoonful. Cover bowl with your serving plate and turn over. Garnish with crispy garlic [bottled and now available in supermarkets] and top with siling haba for effect. Fangla!